“Maybe they’ll finally see us.”
Those were the words spoken by my African American friend when I described to her the Listen. Learn. Lament. Love. prayer room. My heart broke. There was no edge of bitterness attached to her words. What I heard was someone who was tired, tired of being unseen, unheard. Her words marked me.
Who are “they?” We are. All of us reading this - every ethnicity, especially white America.
Who are “us?” People of color.
I’m not an expert in reconciliation. I have made plenty of mistakes through the years as I’ve walked this journey. As a white American, I have wrestled with the fear that I will say or do the wrong thing. I wish I could say that my wrestle was only because I did not want to cause more damage to those that have already experienced the soul-crushing impact of racism. Although that is true, I confess that some of my wrestle was because I didn’t want to look dumb or tone deaf…or complicit.
Here’s the reality: I have spoken and done many wrong things along this path of reconciliation and restorative justice. I HAVE been tone deaf, proud, insensitive, blind, partisan….and racist. {Tears squeezed out of my eyes when I typed that last one. Ugh.] And when the Lord in HIs mercy would reveal those undercurrents in my soul, sometimes through conversations with my friends of color, sometimes through books, articles, movies, prophetic dreams, and scripture, I have repented and sought to be teachable and humble. THIS IS NOT EASY. There have been many times when I’ve wanted to defend myself, defend my opinion, and paint myself in a more pleasant, rose-colored light.
What I am learning to do is shut my mouth in those moments and listen.
Learn.
Lament.
Love.
Reconciliation is holy ground. Reconciliation is the place of the cross. Reconciliation is choosing to lay down your life for your friend. Choosing to go low, grabbing a towel and wash basin and washing your sister’s feet.
“Having loved his own who were in the world, he [Jesus] now showed them the full extent of his love….so he got up from his meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciple’s feet, drying them with the towel that was around him.” John 13:1b, 4 - 5
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