I was praying last night, bemoaning once again to the Lord about my wayward devotional life.  I want to spend more time with the Lord, and then I end up offering Him what feels like the dregs of my day.  Anyway, this was my cycle of thought.  In the midst of this mental downward spiral, I heard the Holy Spirit respond something like this, “You rank your times with me, believing that it’s only when you’re alone with me that I am most pleased and everything else ranks far behind those times.  I do not rank my times with you.  I love being with you now, when you’re tired and getting ready to fall asleep.  I love being with you at KHOP.  I love being with you when you’re with your family.  I love hearing you speak about me to others.  I love it when you invite me to join you on a bike ride. I love being with you.  All the time.”

And I realized how I put this pressure on myself to create a devotional life that I think He would prefer….that He would rank high 

on some divine metric.  

Then I thought about how I love to spend time with my family, just the four of us, eating dinner together or doing a Bible study.  Or, how I love to listen to Robert play his cello or to Ellie sing.  But I also love to hear them giggle when watching a youtube video or hanging with their friends.  And I love when they let me hug and cuddle them.  I love doing life with them.  Individually and all together.  I love being with them because I love them.

So, today I rest in this reality that the God who created the heavens and the earth, who notices when a sparrow falls and has numbered the hairs on my head….this wonderful Father loves me and He loves to be with me every minute of every day, whether my heart is focused exclusively on Him or not.  He simply loves to be with me.  This encourages me, and frankly, it makes me want to pull aside and spend this quiet moment with Him.  Just me and Him.  Not because I have to, but because my soul has found the One I love.