Confession

Confession 

I just learned tonight how confession is sacred.  

Last night, my family was playing cards.  We had come to a point in the game during which I announced that “Your daddy is an honest man.”  I must have been defending some play he had made.  Anyway, the moment I said those words, I felt the burning conviction of the Holy Spirit hit my spirit.  And in that moment, I realized that I had not been honest and was hiding a secret from my husband.  In short, without divulging too much, I had created a financial mess and was trying to privately clean it up.  Well, in that moment, the Holy Spirit gripped my heart and I knew that I could hide my sin no more.  Ugh.

So, I went to bed mulling over this conviction in my heart.  I knew I needed to confess, but I also knew my husband had had a challenging week - one of his business clients had been hit with cyber terrorism (which John was trying to figure out how to retrieve many terabytes of encrypted files without have to pay the ransom)….all while fighting through a terrible cold.  In my mind, this was not the best time to confess my sin.

I went to bed and awoke early in the morning from an extremely convicting dream that showed the impact of the lie upon my soul.  Wow.  It’s amazing how God can get our attention when He needs to.

So, there I was at 5AM, having awoken from a startling dream revealing the infection of my soul, still trying to figure out how and when to confess.  On top of it all, I knew I was leading worship in just a few hours and I did not want to bring my sin with me.  Bring my brokenness? Yes.  God’s power is perfected in my weakness.  But my unrepented sin?  No.  God is loving, forgiving, and holy.  I have always treated the worship pulpit with great respect and in no way did I want to knowingly bring my worship to the Lord while still clinging to an unrepented sin.

I lay in my bed, praying and confessing my sin to God and made a commitment before heaven that later that day I would confess what I had been hiding to my husband.  And I did.

The thing about confession, is that it makes us feel so exposed.  And it reveals another level of the fear of wo/man in our lives.  Did I really think my husband would love me any less?  No.  But I was trying to avoid him thinking less of me.

What was John's response when I finally went to him and confessed my sin?  Kindness.  Forgiveness.  Grace.  Advice.  And love.

And what was my response?  Relief.  Thankfulness.  Gratitude.  Love.  A feeling of oneness with my husband.  Resolve.  And a few tears.

And what was God’s response to my obedience in confessing my sin to my husband?  I felt His smile and pleasure.  And love.  Always love.

And now I see more than ever that conviction and confession are God’s way of exposing and healing the tares in our souls.  God never exposes to humiliate.  He only exposes to heal.

Confession tears down unholy walls of protection we’ve erected around our pet sins.  And confession becomes a gateway to repentance; a shift of focus from the power of our sin to our powerful Savior who changes our way of thinking.  Confession alone does not bring the change.  Repentance does that.  But confession is a sacred and necessary first step on the journey of restoration.

So there it is, folks.  Just processing the grace I received tonight: a God who loves me enough to remove anything in my life that hinders love.  Amazing grace, how sweet the sound...

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

1 John 1:9

From Unity to Oneness

Yesterday, I was at our annual Jesus Loves Kalamazoo Vision Team retreat.  (These peeps right here^^^.  )We were praying, worshiping, God-dreaming, and asking the Lord to show us how and where to move as a movement in 2019.  We had been talking about how over the last five years, our movement has worked hard to develop a depth to our unity, i.e. to not get stuck in celebrating broad, but shallow unity.   About five years ago, we felt the Lord was challenging us as a movement to deepen our unity by opening our lives to each other.  Not just colleagues in the Kingdom, but figuring out how to live as family with the same Father.

Now, that’s a paradigm shift, right?  The transition from pulpit sharing to double dating as couples.  From strategizing at meetings to vacationing together as families.  Relationships that were friendly, but perhaps shallow.  God had something deeper in store for us.

Jesus was inviting this movement to grow our roots deep into the soil of His love (Eph. 3:17).  We’re learning that we share the same root system:  different trees on the surface, but the same root system connecting all of our trees in His soil.

So, this understanding got me meditating again on the concept of Biblical unity.  Or, as Jesus puts it, “being one.”  Here’s the blog that resulted:

What’s the big deal with unity?

I don’t think unifying around a cause is all that hard to do.  We see it all the time as entertainers come together for a telethon or people send money and resources to areas that were hit hard by natural disasters.  In the book of Genesis, we see negative unity as the people of the earth came together to build a tower to the heavens in rebellion against God.  I think history proves that people can unite behind a cause, whether good or bad, at least temporarily.

In the body of Christ, God has been inspiring His body to come together in unity as well, with events such as OneRace at Stone Mountain, GA (to destroy racism), the Palau Association’s City Fest up in Grand Rapids, or our very own Jesus Loves Kalamazoo’s Catalyst Week.  All are Holy Spirit-inspired causes that bring people together to pray, worship, share the gospel, and love the people of their cities.  All of these things are beautiful, powerful, Biblical, and completely necessary.  

However, I believe God wants us to deepen our unity.  I would suggest that it’s possible to unite for a cause but not live in unity.

Psalm 133

Behold, how good and how pleasant it is

For brothers to dwell together in unity!

It is like the precious oil upon the head,

Coming down upon the beard,

Even Aaron’s beard,

Coming down upon the edge of his robes.

It is like the dew of Hermon

Coming down upon the mountains of Zion;

For there the Lord commanded the blessing—life forever.

In Psalm 133, the Psalmist describes “brethren dwelling together in unity” as akin to anointing oil flowing down the high priest’s robe.  This oil was a specially designed oil, with a recipe given from Yahweh Himself, to set apart Aaron and his sons for priestly service.  The Psalmist goes on to say that “God commands His blessing” when brethren dwell together in unity.  There is something catalytic about unity that captures the attention of our heavenly Father and compels Him to bless us, the level of blessing that causes an arid, desert mountain to experience a life-giving dew.  Profound images to shape our understanding of unity.  

According to my personal study of this passage, some scholars believe that the unity described in this Psalm occurred within the context of the Israelites traveling to Jerusalem to celebrate certain feasts.  Learning this context encouraged me as my friends and I began to gather believers for worship and prayer events back in 2011. 

Then in the New Testament, Jesus takes the concept of unity and redefines it into His own image: 

“My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.”  John 17:20 - 23

Jesus uses His relationship with His Father to define the type of unity He desires to see among His disciples.  Wow!  Think about it.  We’re not just talking about uniting behind a cause, or even living together as a family.  He’s using the Godhead - three persons, one God, to describe the unity He desires to see.  This is completely supernatural.  There is no way humans can come together and create that kind of synergy on our own.  Aaaaaand, this is a unity that causes the world to know that the Father has sent the Son.  So, it’s a unity that serves as a catalyst for harvest.

In Hebrews 1:1 - 3a, the writer makes this beautiful statement, “In the past God spoke to our ancestors through the prophets at many times and in various ways, but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed heir of all things, and through whom also he made the universe.  The Son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word.”  So, when you see the Son, you are seeing the Father.  Although they are different persons, they are the same.  If Jesus did something, then the Father did that very thing through His Son.  Jesus Himself said, “If you’ve seen me, you’ve seen the Father.”*

So how does this work on a practical level?  

Or is this a promise of what is to come?

When we receive the free gift of salvation,** we receive the promised Holy Spirit as a deposit guaranteeing we belong to Him.  It’s the seal of our redemption.  (2 Cor. 1:22) So, we know that every believer in Jesus shares the same Holy Spirit.  His Spirit marks us, sets us apart, declaring to the seen and unseen realm that we belong to Jesus.  Although on the surface we notice the color of each other’s skin, the shade of our hair, the height or width of our bodies, our gender differences, etc. in the unseen realm, it’s the Holy Spirit that is THE distinguishing mark of a believer.  It is impossible to conceal the fact that we’ve been born again to both demon and angel alike.  

So, it’s Christ in us that unifies us.  We share the same Father.  The same brother.  The same Spirit.

So, why would Jesus have to pray this prayer if His Spirit is all that was needed to cause us to be one?  

We know that Jesus never wasted words. He purposely prayed this prayer in front of His disciples so that they could hear and John could eventually record His words.  So, His language was intentional.

I think perhaps the key to oneness is the phrase “May they also be in us so that the World may believe that you have sent me.”  Is it possible to have the Holy Spirit dwelling in our spirits, but to not be in Jesus?  I would say yes and no.  Theologically, we are seated in heavenly places in Christ Jesus (Eph. 2:6).  Right now, we are seated in Him.  Yet, until we believe and walk in that truth, it’s possible to live a life way below the fullness of all that He has intended for us.  

Likewise, I think it is possible to be born again, but to not be walking fully in Jesus.  Having written all this, I feel like I just entered into some profound theological thought, and I’m not sure my “wader” boots are high enough for these waters.  But, I bring this up because I want us to begin to pray and meditate upon these words.  If Jesus prayed this prayer, surely this level of unity is possible, even before His return.

What does it mean to be in Jesus?

I think of being in Jesus as if He were standing next to me, and I could step into Him.  So, now people can no longer see me, they see Jesus.  However, it’s not that I lose myself by stepping into Him, it’s that my talents, my vocation, my skin, my personality, my body type, my gender, no longer define me. I am still fully me IN Him.  However, it’s who He is that defines me. 

So, it’s not conformity on the outside that brings about unity.  It’s being IN Christ that causes us to be one.  He in me, I in Him.  We’re not all stepping into separate Christs.  We are all stepping into Jesus Christ.  We are choosing to be one with Him and thereby we become one with our brothers and sisters.

So, how does that work out in the practical?  Well, that’s where the rubber hits the road, right?  In no way am I declaring an expertise in being one with my brothers and sisters in Christ.  Judgment still clouds my mind and petty jealousies can tear my soul.  Ugh.  Too much.  (Thank God for grace!)  

Having said all that, I want to share some practical things I’ve learned to do (or am learning to do) as I seek to be one with my brothers and sister in Christ:

• Recognize them as brothers and sisters who share the same Father.
• Refuse to break relationship even when we disagree.
• Forgive often and forgive fully.
• Celebrate when they celebrate.
• Grieve when they grieve.
• Support them, whether through encouraging words, resources, or prayers.
• Challenge them when necessary.
• Love them.
• And if possible, spend time together.

Notice that the things mentioned are not contingent on how others treat me.  These things are 100% contingent on how God has demonstrated His love for us.  In the same way, I can only do these things by being IN Christ.  And even that decision is made possible only by His grace and goodness.

I’m not really sure how to end this blog.  It sure hasn’t ended in my heart.  As the body of Christ we’ve been exploring what it means to do walk in unity and love our city well.  I challenge all of us, including myself, to ask the Lord to grow our roots into His perfect love, knowing that as we allow Him to root us and establish us in His love, He is actually rooting and establishing us together, in Him.

For in Him we live and move and have our being.  (Acts 17:28)

*John 14:5 - 11

5 Thomas said to him, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?”

6 Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. 7 If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.”

8 Philip said, “Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us.”

9 Jesus answered: “Don’t you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? 10 Don’t you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you I do not speak on my own authority. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work. 11 Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the works themselves.

**Romans 10: 9 - 13

“that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. 11 For the Scripture says, “Whoever believes on Him will not be put to shame.” 12 For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek, for the same Lord over all is rich to all who call upon Him. 13 For “whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved.”