Loss, Hope, & Glowing Embers

I had the honor once again of leading worship for a memorial service today, this time for a beautiful lady who lived to be 100 years old. I was thinking during the service how one of the common denominators of memorial services for those who profess Christ is hope.  We do not mourn as if death is the end.  Even in the midst of our grief, there is an irrepressible hope that invades our loss.  We know we will see our loved ones again....it's just a matter of time.  Resurrection is a promise that isn't relegated to a church celebration in spring.  Resurrection is a Man who makes all things new and is Himself the doorway into abundant life, both here on this earth and in the age to come.  

Do I mourn?  Oh, yes.  When grief hits me in waves and pours over me with all its weight and fury, and feels like it will crush me, I’ve learned to not quench it, but let is wash over me.  And when the grief subsides, I cannot help but notice hope, like the most tenacious, glowing ember, warm and softly shining, leading me home.  I absolutely cannot escape it.  And every time I feel the loss of my loved one, their life is now framed with this inescapable, glorious hope.  

What a gift.

 Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.  According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first.  After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. 

Therefore encourage one another with these words.

1 Thessalonians 4:13 - 18

The Issue of Compliments: Stumbling Block or Encouragement?

Some years back, I was leading a song for a Wednesday evening service at our church.  This was back when I was just beginning to lead while playing the keys….so whatever the song was, I am sure it was simple.  An older gentleman from our congregation came up to me afterwards and thanked me for leading the song.  I smiled and said, “I just love Jesus.”  Bewildered, he crinkled his eyebrows, gawked at the halo that was just then forming over my head,  and responded, “Uhhh….I love Jesus, too.” and walked away.  I am chuckling even as I type this.  I knew immediately that I had blown it.  My sanctimonious response was not helpful and pretty awkward in that moment of genuine gratitude.

So, it got me thinking - how should I respond to compliments?  Especially in regards to ministry?

As a professional musician, I have always said, “Thank you.” when given an accolade after a performance.  I have come to realize that those words work for worship, preaching, and teaching ministry as well.  A simple “thank you” goes a long way.  Depending upon the circumstance, I sometimes add phrases such as, “Thank you.  It was our pleasure to worship with you.” or “Awww thanks.  That means a lot.  We had a lot of fun today!”  Or if they say “thank you for your ministry,” I often reply something like, “You’re welcome.  I loved being with you all today.”

The key is to acknowledge the compliment (not dismiss it) and let the person know that I am grateful for their encouragement.

Now, here’s what I try to do later that evening - this is something I learned from Kris Vallotton from Bethel Church in Redding, CA.  During my time alone with the Lord, I give Him all of the compliments.  I picture them as crowns that people have given me, and I lay them at the Lord’s feet (Revelation 4:10) in worship and gratitude.  He’s the one that’s given me the musical gifts.  He’s the one that granted me the grace and provision and tenacity to develop those gifts through years of practice and schooling.  And as the Bible often declares, He’s the One who’s worthy, ultimately, of ALL praise and glory.

Now, I have to admit that there are certain compliments I really like and am tempted to keep in my soul’s display case.  Or, maybe it’s the success of a conference or an album.  There has been more than one occasion that, before the Lord, I admired a certain crown before I cast it at his feet.  Maybe the accolade was for something I had worked extra hard at and I really appreciated that someone noticed…..that the event was a success.  I actually tell the Lord how much I like that particular compliment or how the ministry success makes me feel important/proud/thankful/special,etc.  I tell Him how good it feels that He used my worship (teaching/preaching/writing/evangelism, etc.) as the vehicle for someone to receive healing or how awesome it is that someone gave their heart to the Lord because I shared the gospel. In my heart, I see us holding up the crown in His light, noticing how the jewels sparkle, as we admire the compliment or success together……just like Robert and I admire his great report card while sitting together on our blue couch or how I hug and praise Ellie after she is cast as the lead in the school musical.  And then, I hand God my crown.  And Robert hands me his report card.  And Ellie gives me her musical schedule so I can write it in my planner.  

I promise you, it feels soooo good when I give the Giver of all good gifts my crown.  And who knows, maybe Abba Father has a massive fridge or shelf in heaven displaying all of our accolades and successes with the same gusto my fridge highlights my kid’s old stick figure masterpieces and school pictures.

Either way, I know that if I keep that compliment in my soul, however encouraging it is to me in that moment, it could become an object of worship, which will corrupt my gaze of the One who is worthy. Lucifer, former chief worship leader in heaven, fell because of pride and the desire to receive worship.  That should be a warning to us all.

What’s just some of the fruit of making this a spiritual habit?  Humility. Gratitude. Worship.  And the desire to encourage others with my words.  

Another byproduct?  The enemy can no longer use flattery to seed my soul with pride.  Compliments no longer haunt me.  I’ve noticed that once I cast the crowns before the Lord, I forget the details of what was spoken.  And the words, however flattering they are in the moment, fade away into a warm, pleasant, and fuzzy memory.

Who knew that someone’s compliment could become a touchpoint for  worship.  Let’s cast some crowns before the One who is worthy of all honor, glory, and praise!